Why My Life Sucks

Why does my life suck? Well if you haven’t caught on yet then you’ve answered your own question. I’m not notices, how many fucking times do I have to say it to get someone to listen to me? I could scream ‘I’m not noticed’ and someone would say ‘huh?’. Why thank you idiot for proving my point. Even if I were to ‘spill’ to my friends as they say they’d like me to I don’t think it would matter. They’d either make it about them or not pay attention. It’s not their fault, I’m just not that interesting. I totally get that & that’s why I keep my petty problems to myself. I’ve always known that there was nothing special about me ant it’s just be enforced by parents, teacher, friends, and classmates. I suck at life. I have no special gift. I’m not pretty, or smart, or talented or something like that. I’m just one of those people who are just there. Space fillers: something of no importance beside taking up room; expendable. I’ve already expressed my feelings for my role as the ‘dog’, but the thing about being the hated dog that people kick, maybe one day someone will kick to hard and then I won’t have to worry about it anymore. Through out my life I’ve had friends replace me, trade me in for a less satirical model, or just ‘dump’ me. I try so hard to be the good friend everyone wants but all I do still isn’t enough. Everyone I love will abandon me and then I’m going to die sad and alone. I’ve never had one suicidal thought that wasn’t brought on by a friend or parent. I hate everything and it’s all their fault. They broke me. They made me this way. My mom thought she was being a good mom but she hurt me really bad. Her ‘truth’ was a little too much for a ten year old to handle. I have no one. I am no one. I have nothing. I am nothing. I wish I’d just die and it’d be over. I’m tired of being so cold. My heart is ice. I have no purpose. I’m a shoulder to cry on, something to vent to, someone to yell at, something to hurt, that’s it. I’m sorry but I don’t know what I did. Why doesn’t anyone see me? Why don’t they hear me screaming? Why don’t the see that I’m dying? What did I do? Why so I deserve this? What about me? Why do they always forget me? Why do they leave me out? Why am I always second? I’m tired. I wish I could die, but how can I, I don’t exist. My life sucks because it’s not a life at all. My life can be summed up by the song “Pitiful” by Sick Puppies and that is so pathetic.

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Comments (4)

	foreverfireinside: 03/11/2008 1:44 AM Awww! you know everyone has up's and down's but things ALWAYS get better no metter how bad it seems. So try to look up and see whats good in your life and try not to look at the past anymore but ahead: Your 17, probbly realy pretty. You have your WHOLE life ahead of you to do whatever you plz and be the best at it! You'r a smart person for being able to express your self in your writing that way. So it does (belive it or not) look as tho you have abrighter future than you think! -and I belive that- -and die alone? no dont think so, I think you'll find a nice Hot hubby one day and have 50 kids lol!!! -than you'll always Want to be alone (like you said once when you where a teen) -but never get the chance to be xD like soooo meany ppl before you. lol! -but for right now! just try to be opsimistic about life, and belive in you! even if you think no one else does, YOU have to. I hope these words help you~
	renata aka helen: 03/11/2008 9:13 AM everyone is special. YOU are special. everyone has a gift to offer this world. some might be good caregivers, some teachers, some musicians, etc. and you have a soulmate out there, believe it or not. it may take some time to find him/her, but don't give up! you're too young to give up already! i'll check back with you later.
	fobrawsum: 03/12/2008 2:32 AM u are someone. u are something. u are special. ur friiends dont deserve you they just dont know how much of a good friend you are because they are so self obsorbed. when you leave school everything will change you will love your life it can only get better. you will not die alone you will find someone that loves you for you. i hope i helped you..
	lonestar47: 04/11/2008 3:34 AM Good Morning....please know.... from someone that has seen a few more years than you (LOL).... life is always a challenge, and sometimes the happy times seem too few, but overall, you learn to build and store up good memories and trash feelings and memories which are hurtful.... you are indeed very young, and always live with the anticipation that better times are just over the horizon, and live with the hope that things wil be better.... focus on the positive and ditch the negative, and live life!!